I’ll Tell Ya What: Why No Moufy/Stargang Collabo on “Number 9,” Nerlens?

Wes Grams? White boy can’t flow for shit. Plus he’s pencil dick thin (#pause) and would get bodied in the Bean. And what in the hell is that Gucci Mane “Yaaaaaa” thrown in there as a filler? How DARE that fuck boy…Come on, Nerlens! Aren’t you a Stargang Athlete? Where’s the Boston allegiance? Ya’ll beefin right now or what? The Moufy Collabo would have translated into on point production, infinitely more retweets and a five out of ten on the “cool” point scale as opposed to a negative eight. Can’t wait to ask Georges Niang about this one on Wednesday!

Iowa State Diaper Dandy Georges Niang Stops by the Podcast to Talk with Chris Kattan

Meet Georges Niang. If an illiterate grassroots/college basketball fan, you might know him as the kid who was on the wrong end of that late game blown offensive foul call against Kansas last Monday. If familiar with the Methuen, Massachusetts native and current Iowa State Cyclone Freshman forward, however, you’d know my man, to no personal surprise, is defying all expectations. Through sixteen Big 12 conference games, he’s one of only four freshman to rank top 20 in scoring (two of which are projected lottery picks in this year’s NBA draft), has arguably been Coach Hoiberg’s most efficient roster option on one of the more deep team’s in the country, and continues to make Bleacher Report, ESPN and other “all-knowing” scouting services look a bit, well stupid, for not anticipating his work as a Tilton School Ram and member of the prestigious Boston Amateur Basketball Club alongside Nerlens Noel would immediately translate to the next level. Remember folks, athleticism isn’t everything. Believe it or not, success in this game, as Charles Barkley once said, “comes down to what you can do under the rim.”

And last Thursday, we got Georges on the line for an interview right before taking off for his make or break NCAA tournament hopeful three game stretch against Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and West Virginia. From discussing his feelings with the underrated label to his opinions on KU swingman Travis Releford’s hair line and white women with short hair, Georges showed us that’s he’s a youngin’ with a story and personality that should never go unnoticed. If there’s one take away from our first of many radio interviews with Georges, it’s that he’s got the tools to not only ball outrageous for the rest of his basketball career, but to ball outrageous 30 years down the road in life. Check out some of the highlights from our conservation transcribed below. Hit ‘Em.

P.S. Excuse my sounding like the biggest white boy of all time when discussing French Montana and his most recent Mac & Cheese Mixtape. I assure you all that I’m far more WAVY than I appear over the Podcast. Believe me, I’ve routinely punched myself in the face for that one.

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I’ll Tell Ya What: The Classless Elijah Johnson and Georges Niang Continues to Ride the Underrated Train to Perfection

by: Chris Kattan

A LOT was learned/reaffirmed last night in the Hilton Coliseum. Time to Hit ‘Em with that basketball intellect.

1.) If You Didn’t Know Prior To Last Night That Georges Niang is the Most Underrated Freshman in the Country, Then Fuck You.

Am I surprised the Methuen, Massachusetts native is Iowa State’s third leading scorer, most efficient body at Fred Hoiberg’s disposal, and is in the running for Big 12 rookie of the year? Nawwww, not in the slightest. Honestly.

When Bleacher Report formulated their algorithmic list of the nation’s top 50 incoming Freshman back in May and I saw that Niang wasn’t included, I sat back and simply laughed. Had those bum ass columnists neither seen nor heard of my dude posting 23 points on 11-of-11 shooting from the field against Michigan’s baby-faced assassin Nik Stauskas, Arizona’s stud frosh center Kaleb Tarczewski and soon to be heavy Duke Blue Devil contributor Alex Murphy in Tilton’s 2011 NEPSAC Class AA championship win over St. Marks? How about when he had Memphis’ diaper dandy Shaq Goodwin more off balance than fat bitches walking tight ropes with a variety of crafty post moves/power finishes en-route to 21 points on 9 of 12 shooting back at the 2011 Nike EYBL Championships in Georgia? The Hoganz Classic out in Lynn, MA that same summer where he poured in 73 points in two games via mainly one dribble drives from the perimeter? Can’t say you have? Shit, where you been at, BR??

Well, I was at that classic NEPSAC championship game (check the Hoop Mixtape, you’ll see my two boys, Tilton’s AD and I posted on the baseline. Peep the grey hoody exposing my white-T), in the “ratchet” audience out in Lynn and watched that EYBL Championship from start to finish on ESPNU. And my impression was simple: Yes, Georges might both lack the bounce/explosiveness and size needed to crack the “ELITE level” recruit label that Ben Mclemore, Archie Goodwin, Marcus Smart, Nerlens Noel, etc. casually assume. But you’d be crazy in saying this kid wouldn’t provide immediate HEAVY contributions at the next level after demonstrating a basketball IQ/footwork/touch beyond his years and an ability to score (EFFICIENTLY) in virtually every facet of the game on a nightly basis against the Nation’s collection of star-studded bigs.

In summary, because Georges had BEEN producing against the Steven Adams’, the Mitch McGary’s, the Kaleb Tarczewki’s of the world and put up numbers that were in no way inflated because of his playing alongside Noel/Wayne Selden, why wouldn’t one trust that those creative instincts, touch and polished skill set would instantly translate at the next level? And through 28 games (especially last night), he’s continued to torch dudes with his immaculate pump fake, finesse up and unders, spins and baby hooks COURTESY of an excellent understanding of how to use his body and a silky stroke that forces bigs to extend out to the perimeter. Oh and those defensive shortcomings all those scouting services were talking about? He’s got that under control, just ask Jeff Withey.

Another clear case of the “certified” basketball expert failing to emphasize the importance of skill and focusing far too much on what the kid can/cannot do from an athletic standpoint. Keep on riding the underrated train, homie. It’ll serve you well, especially when all those Big 12 honors start piling on. Breakout performer in 2014? Well, considering the fact that he’ll be in the gym adding to his natural big body frame, working on his explosiveness from the perimeter, and, of course, taking thousands of jump shots, I’d say the possibility is quite high

1.) Ladies & Gentlemen, I’d Like to Welcome the CLASSLESS Ass Formally Known as Elijah Johnson to the Stage

Before I say anything, let me just state that in another life I most certainly would have disrespectfully woofed one down at the end of regulation just like Elijah. If I had as shitty of a slump as EJ did in the middle of the season with so many people doubting my draft stock and ability to help Kansas make a serious push come March I would be sticking my junk in a crowd’s will all day, all night. But I’m speaking from the perspective of that dude who tried to throw down in fisticups with Bill Self. And neither that motherfucker nor the rest of the Cyclone student body would allow “BOOYAH” Johnson to lay his nuts all over their pride and get away it (if they could, of course).

I’ll tell ya what: If I’m an Iowa State walk-on, I either a.) shoulder the fuck out of him in post-game handshakes, b.) look him dead in the eyes and shout “Suck my ass, Elijah!” or c.) shut my god damn mouth entirely because he dropped a massive 39 point dump on this beautiful bench warming face of mine. Ultimately, option C looks most viable. But because I’m Jewish and have adopted the loud mouth characteristic of my people, I might toss the prick a Yiddish “No-Goodnik.” GRILLLL ‘EMMMMMMMMM