In a mere six to eight months, the NCAA has thus far taken every possible forsaken step to bolster it’s hoary facade of amateurism and decency. From the befuddling decision to overtly exploit the likeness of an unpaid labor force by reaping the benefits of jersey sales…on it’s own website; to tabling the discussion of stipends indefinitely because a moralistic compensation for the $2,000 true gap between athletic scholarship and the actual cost of living would undermine any ability to remain criminally bound by tax-exempt status (the key to maximizing $800 billion plus in yearly revenue is to exterminate any thought of an employer-employee relationship); to denying former Iowa State guard Kervin Okoro of a hardship waiver and immediate eligibility despite his moving closer to home (Rutgers) to better accommodate to the emotional life crisis of losing both his father and brother in a two months span.
So, what have Mark Emmert and his cronies now done to further solidify themselves as colluding members of the most inherently f*cked memory of American indecency since Totino’s® Pizza Pockets lack of insurance against marinara sauce spillage (nothing’s more egregious than watching your late night snack uncontrollably ooze marinara sauce)? Get this, this is a f*cking riot. You’re going to LOVE this: They denied Nathan Harries, a Mormon Freshman on Colgate University’s ball squad fresh off a two year mission, a full year’s worth of eligibility because he acted as a fill-in roster fodder for a church league game featuring 30 and 50 year olds:
Atlanta Journal Constitution—The governing body ruled that Harries played this past summer in an organized and competitive basketball league before enrolling at Colgate. In truth, Harries actually was just a fill-in for three games for a “C” level team in a relative church basketball league. Most players are in their 30s; one team is largely comprised of players in their 50s. According to one player, Matt Adams, a 36-year-old high school teacher, “We had one guy who played with us and he was like, ‘If any of you have any advice you could give me that would be great because I never played basketball before.’” …
The NCAA mandates student-athletes who don’t enroll in college within a year of graduating high school may not compete in organized competition or risk losing a year of eligibility. There is a legitimate reason for the rule. It’s to prevent athletes from playing games in competitive leagues and gaining an advantage before beginning college. There is a one-year grace period for the rule, however, which means Harries could have competed in a legitimate summer basketball league immediately following graduation without penalty.
He didn’t do that. Instead, 10 days after graduation, he began his mission in Raleigh, N.C. For two years, seven days a week, he rose at 6:30 a.m., did 30 minutes of exercise, then studied the Bible, performed service projects and used his high school Spanish skills to lend assistance in the barrios. He was allowed to email family members once a week, but speak to them by phone only twice a year: Christmas and Mother’s Day. …
[A friend] contacted Harries in mid-July because some players on his team couldn’t make the team’s next game and his roster was down to four players. Harries, hoping to get back in playing shape, jumped at the chance for a full-court game. He played three games total — two on one night, one on another.
In late July, just a few weeks before Harries planned to head to the Colgate campus in upstate New York, the NCAA emailed him a standard questionnaire, asking if he played any organized sports over the past two years. Harries didn’t think much of it. He responded yes.
A week later, the NCAA sent back a notice declaring him ineligible. Colgate asked for a waiver. It was denied Oct. 21. Late last week, Colgate filed an appeal.
Well, I guess the moral of the story here is when a bunch of C-Leaguer Along Came Polly’s with a savvy feel for the post, short corner jumpshot range for days and zero remaining athleticism (that’s old man game in a nutshell) come running for a ringer, you say no. Better stick to riding around dirty with bud and cocaine. You’ll only miss three games…RAIN MAN!
P.S. I’m no fan of Mormonism, but the whole ”Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, so stock up on ones own before thy wife section at thy supermarket runeth out” is fresh. Awwww mannnn I love my b*tches!