Mormon Freshman at Colgate Loses Year of Eligibility for Balling in a Couple Church League Games

In a mere six to eight months, the NCAA has thus far taken every possible forsaken step to bolster it’s hoary facade of amateurism and decency. From the befuddling decision to overtly exploit the likeness of an unpaid labor force by reaping the benefits of jersey sales…on it’s own website; to tabling the discussion of stipends indefinitely because a moralistic compensation for the $2,000 true gap between athletic scholarship and the actual cost of living would undermine any ability to remain criminally bound by tax-exempt status (the key to maximizing $800 billion plus in yearly revenue is to exterminate any thought of an employer-employee relationship); to denying former Iowa State guard Kervin Okoro of a hardship waiver and immediate eligibility despite his moving closer to home (Rutgers) to better accommodate to the emotional life crisis of losing both his father and brother in a two months span.

So, what have Mark Emmert and his cronies now done to further solidify themselves as colluding members of the most inherently f*cked memory of American indecency since Totino’s® Pizza Pockets lack of insurance against marinara sauce spillage (nothing’s more egregious than watching your late night snack uncontrollably ooze marinara sauce)? Get this, this is a f*cking riot. You’re going to LOVE this: They denied Nathan Harries, a Mormon Freshman on Colgate University’s ball squad fresh off a two year mission, a full year’s worth of eligibility because he acted as a fill-in roster fodder for a church league game featuring 30 and 50 year olds:

Atlanta Journal Constitution—The governing body ruled that Harries played this past summer in an organized and competitive basketball league before enrolling at Colgate. In truth, Harries actually was just a fill-in for three games for a “C” level team in a relative church basketball league. Most players are in their 30s; one team is largely comprised of players in their 50s. According to one player, Matt Adams, a 36-year-old high school teacher, “We had one guy who played with us and he was like, ‘If any of you have any advice you could give me that would be great because I never played basketball before.’” …


The NCAA mandates student-athletes who don’t enroll in college within a year of graduating high school may not compete in organized competition or risk losing a year of eligibility. There is a legitimate reason for the rule. It’s to prevent athletes from playing games in competitive leagues and gaining an advantage before beginning college. There is a one-year grace period for the rule, however, which means Harries could have competed in a legitimate summer basketball league immediately following graduation without penalty.


He didn’t do that. Instead, 10 days after graduation, he began his mission in Raleigh, N.C. For two years, seven days a week, he rose at 6:30 a.m., did 30 minutes of exercise, then studied the Bible, performed service projects and used his high school Spanish skills to lend assistance in the barrios. He was allowed to email family members once a week, but speak to them by phone only twice a year: Christmas and Mother’s Day. …


[A friend] contacted Harries in mid-July because some players on his team couldn’t make the team’s next game and his roster was down to four players. Harries, hoping to get back in playing shape, jumped at the chance for a full-court game. He played three games total — two on one night, one on another.


In late July, just a few weeks before Harries planned to head to the Colgate campus in upstate New York, the NCAA emailed him a standard questionnaire, asking if he played any organized sports over the past two years. Harries didn’t think much of it. He responded yes.


A week later, the NCAA sent back a notice declaring him ineligible. Colgate asked for a waiver. It was denied Oct. 21. Late last week, Colgate filed an appeal.

Well, I guess the moral of the story here is when a bunch of C-Leaguer Along Came Polly’s with a savvy feel for the post, short corner jumpshot range for days and zero remaining athleticism (that’s old man game in a nutshell) come running for a ringer, you say no. Better stick to riding around dirty with bud and cocaine. You’ll only miss three games…RAIN MAN!

P.S. I’m no fan of Mormonism, but the whole ”Thou shalt not covet thy neighbors wife, so stock up on ones own before thy wife section at thy supermarket runeth out” is fresh. Awwww mannnn I love my b*tches!


Georges Niang Considered Next Breakout Star in College Ball by ESPN. Who Said it First? We Did.

Due to an overwhelming week and a half of domestic terrorism, a bunch of #FreeJahar nonsense, and, of course, NBA playoff basketball, I’ve consequently been slacking in the department of NCAA basketball. And just as of April 15th, our main man Georges Niang out of Iowa State was shown quite a bit of love from ESPN; love that we predicted back on February 26th would happen when experts finally realized that they had screwed the pooch in assessing the Methuen, Massachusetts native out of high school. Check it out:

Myron Medcalf of ESPN : Who’s the next breakout star in college basketball? I think Iowa State’s Georges Niang is worthy of this list. He averaged 12.1 PPG last season, and he’ll play a bigger role for Fred Hoiberg’s squad next season. He’s not on many radars right now, but I love his potential.

Eamon Brennan of ESPN: Totally agree on Niang. When I learned our topic for today — wherein we look around the college hoops landscape for potential breakout All-American candidates — he was the first player to pop into my head. He’s still just under-the-radar enough that he can qualify as a surprise when he turns his vast combination of perimeter skills in a tricky 6-foot-8 frame into a stellar sophomore season. And he’ll have plenty of touches, that’s for sure                                                                                                              

Hey NOW, I guess Georges looks to FINALLY be receiving the media recognition he deserves and, as a Massachusetts resident, I could not be more proud of his putting on for Boston basketball to the max. The story of this underdog is one we should all admire. Like I said, the immaculate pump fake, the finesse up and unders, the spins and baby hooks COURTESY of an excellent understanding of how to use his body and a silky stroke that forces bigs to extend out to the perimeter is all there. Instincts on instincts. Imagine when he comes back from an entire period of off-season work with five to ten pounds of added muscle, a tightened handle that allows him to consistently attack off the dribble when bigs have to extend out to the perimeter, and, of course, more explosive.  As we’ve seen with the success of those that have defied the need for elite level athleticism to make a living at the next level (cough, cough…Zach Randolph), its ultimately not what you do above the rim that makes you productive. Rather, its what you can do UNDER the rim that scouts time and time again look over in favor of the potential accompanying insane physical gifts. Not to mention everyone surprisingly forgot that he banged and battled with Nerlens Noel for years in practice (no wonder he’s so unbelievably capable of getting his jump hooks/shot up over anyone and is as heady as they get in knowing when to get his defender off the ground…duh). Man, do I foresee scouts going crazy over his game resembling that of Jared Dudley’s. Keep on working, Georges, and don’t forget to use the $4.25 million Dudley is guaranteed by The Suns until 2016 as incentive. Let it be know that I’m a believer in a NBA Niang.

P.S. Do you think the Eamon to Eamon connection works for Brennan? Like, I’d have to assume that if “Don’t Want You Back” pops up on the juke box at a bar he’s taking back some broad with ease.


I’ll Tell Ya What: 5 Predictions for the Round of 32

Our HitEmWhereTheyAint/Ciroc Bracket Challenge updates to let you know who’s sucking dick and who’s well on their way to poppin bottles/fucking phat bitches will come Monday morning. But for now, here are some six quick predictions through the weekend. Hit ‘Em

1.) Wichita State Upends Gonzaga Because the Bulldogs are Fucking Soft

I picked Pittsburgh to get out of the first round and penciled Gonzaga to the Sweet 16 because I anticipated Steven Adams doing jack shit offensively because his teammates don’t feed him the rock. But now that Wichita State is up against the ugliest college basketball player EVER, its a rap. Love Pangos, but their overall guard play can’t handle the nitty gritty-ness of Malcolm Armstead and Demetric Williams. Game Over…Flip.

2.) Dominic Artis Finds His Groove and The Ducks Beat St. Louis

I have Saint Louis, but I made that decision based on Dominic Artis and his not being fully healthy. Now, in seeing how he responded to a squeamish 2 point first half with 11 big ones in a controlled 17 minutes of play, it looks as if Coach Ernie Kent may be able to not worry about playing the kid 25 plus minutes. If he finds himself looking like the floor general that he once was when The Ducks were 17 and 2 through the first 20 minutes of play, Dominic (What’s Up, Dominic) could very well be in a position to have his name widely tossed around social media. Jordair Jett’s stupid baggy white tee and awesome dreads are capable of putting the clamps on ‘Nic. But I’ma ride with the potential breakout performance from Damian Lillard’s protégé.

3.) VCU Gets the Best of Trey Burke

In lieu of the disappointing Burke v. Nate Wolters matchup, we should anticipate a statement performance from the potential lottery pick. He went 2 for 12, but if you watched the game, each of his 12 shot attempts were of high quality and were unfortunately subject to bad bounces along the rim—Looks should have fallen. And while I’ll confidently say that Trey would win the battle with VCU’s trademark frenetic full court pressure 9 times out of 10, its a NEW, unaccustomed look. Hey, go ahead, scout Shaka Smart’s defense all you want. But until you actually PLAY against it, you ain’t figuring it out. That’s why its so well built for the tournament. Internalize the “It Only Takes One Game” mentality and Trey Burke might replicate his Thursday struggles from Auburn Hills.

4.) FG-Coast’s Point Guard Brett Comer Looking Like Mac Miller Trends on Twitter

Way to rock a Georgetown Basketball pullover in your photo for the high school yearbook. #Swerve.

5.) Georges Niang Pisses on Ohio State and Continues to Make Every “Expert” Feel Like Even More of An Asshole for  “Miscalculating” His Not Being Part of the 50 Best Incoming Freshman

He eats Tom Knight and Jack Cooley with a number of fluid jump hooks and up and unders and guess what…he never once needed to keep the defense honest by jacking from deep. Brilliant. Like, is there a Freshman with a higher basketball IQ in all of college ball? He scores 19 points without forcing the issue and showing the world his entire arsenal. And while Thad Matta will scout him properly, last night’s performance should undoubtedly place an emphasis on stopping him at the rim. What happens next? 1.) Guys like “I Can’t Hear Shit Because I’m SO Fucking Angry” Ravenel start to ease up a bit as Niang floats around the perimeter and 2.) Guys like “I STILL Can’t Hear Shit” Ravenel give Georges enough space to jack from deep. Love it. Ohio State is great defensively, but I think George could keep adding to his coming out party.

6.) Marshall Henderson Doesn’t Hold Back With the Antics Much Like He Did Against Wisco

La Salle Shoots a Shit Load of Three’s, Marshall Shoots a shit load of “What in the Fuck” Three’s off of curls and dribble pull ups. La Salle is entirely African American (besides one back up center white boy). All Marshall Henderson wants in life is to be Black. Only one more game until the Sweet 16. I’m anticipating the psychopath within to be on full display.


Iowa State Freshman Georges Niang Hits Our Podcast for Round 2…Juuuu Heard

Last time Nicky Friedman aka Chris Kattan had Georges Niang by our Podcast, the Big 12 All-Rookie Team award winner was professing his love for white women with short hair, clowning Elijah Johnson aka Beetle Juice, and demonstrating the same crazy basketball intellect we’ve seen the kid implement through 31 regular season games. Yesterday, Nicky was in Chicago handling some Biz for the Team. So the White Black Frank White stepped in and took responsibility as the two talked Big 12 Championships expectations/game plans, Kelly Olynyk/Golem comparisons, and, yes, white women with short hair. And he did it all while casually slurping on a beverage. Sippin on that large Hi-C from McDeez. I see you, Georges! But anyways, we wish the homeboy from Boston all the success in the world and hope he can expose the underrated label on a national level in the near future. Hit ‘Em

P.S. Follow dude at @GeorgesNiang20

Iowa State Diaper Dandy Georges Niang Stops by the Podcast to Talk with Chris Kattan

Meet Georges Niang. If an illiterate grassroots/college basketball fan, you might know him as the kid who was on the wrong end of that late game blown offensive foul call against Kansas last Monday. If familiar with the Methuen, Massachusetts native and current Iowa State Cyclone Freshman forward, however, you’d know my man, to no personal surprise, is defying all expectations. Through sixteen Big 12 conference games, he’s one of only four freshman to rank top 20 in scoring (two of which are projected lottery picks in this year’s NBA draft), has arguably been Coach Hoiberg’s most efficient roster option on one of the more deep team’s in the country, and continues to make Bleacher Report, ESPN and other “all-knowing” scouting services look a bit, well stupid, for not anticipating his work as a Tilton School Ram and member of the prestigious Boston Amateur Basketball Club alongside Nerlens Noel would immediately translate to the next level. Remember folks, athleticism isn’t everything. Believe it or not, success in this game, as Charles Barkley once said, “comes down to what you can do under the rim.”

And last Thursday, we got Georges on the line for an interview right before taking off for his make or break NCAA tournament hopeful three game stretch against Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and West Virginia. From discussing his feelings with the underrated label to his opinions on KU swingman Travis Releford’s hair line and white women with short hair, Georges showed us that’s he’s a youngin’ with a story and personality that should never go unnoticed. If there’s one take away from our first of many radio interviews with Georges, it’s that he’s got the tools to not only ball outrageous for the rest of his basketball career, but to ball outrageous 30 years down the road in life. Check out some of the highlights from our conservation transcribed below. Hit ‘Em.

P.S. Excuse my sounding like the biggest white boy of all time when discussing French Montana and his most recent Mac & Cheese Mixtape. I assure you all that I’m far more WAVY than I appear over the Podcast. Believe me, I’ve routinely punched myself in the face for that one.

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