NBA Shop Talk: Jordan Crawford Rocks Sexy (Pause) JORDAN 14′s…Ya’ll! And Video Appreciation of AB’s Defense

1.) Feet Heat! OWWWWW

If you haven’t yet noticed, there are three things Jordan “I Once Hammered a MEASLY One On The King” Crawford brings to this “down” but not “out” Celtics squadron: firepower, ignorance, and SWERVE. And tonight, against Evan “I Speak Like a Dyslexic Alien” Turner, Spencer “I Once Looked Like Dwayne Schintzius” Hawes and the rest of Philly’s bums (excusing Jrue, of course) J-Crawfish’s feet heat was on full blast. 12 points, 4 rebound and 3 assists in sixteen minutes? I’d say the efficiency MUST be in his light graphite/chartuese Jordan 14′s. Keep helping Boston post 100 or more, you herky-jerky son of a bitch (for those of you dubious ruffians without the chops, Boston is now 18 and 4 when scoring 100 plus)!

2.) Appreciating Avery Bradley’s Defense

So after AB added ferocious bite to his pitbull bark and locked Golden State’s Baby faced Assassin into the quietest 25 points these eyes have ever seen (let us also not forget that he heavily contributed to Jarrett Jack’s 1 for 9 performance), Boston sports writers have been sucking his defensive oriented teet without rest. And I ain’t hatin’, because we are undoubtedly watching the best on ball defender since The Glove Gary Payton. Bold assessment to compare the former #1 player in the class of 2009 (wow, that makes me feel like shit) and once upon a time next Monta Ellis to the consensus choice as the best defensive guard in league history? I’ll gladly tell that noise to go royally fuck itself. But for now, let us not get lost in the comparisons, bask in the glory of this near 8 minuteĀ  highlight reel of defensive prowess that I could watch for hours on end, and acknowledge that he’s allowing a league second best 0.678 points per play. Bravo, Avery.