Don Dada of The Day: Don West and His “Knock Knock” Joke at George Zimmerman’s Hearing

I’ll tell ya what, he’s no Lesra Martin or Jimmy COCK-ran (just like George Zimmerman lawyer, I make joke!), but guy sure does know how to evoke some comical relief in light of the proverbial wall of evidence Zimmerfuck has stacked against his fat face.

For real, though. How can one argue that my man didn’t rock it out the park? Of course, the joke in and of itself is borderline insane. Nonetheless, all I’ve inferred is Don West taking a higher, moralistic route by issuing a mundane yet earth shattering knee slapper, essentially admitting to Zimmerman that he and his obese wife have the right to the worst fucking team of attorneys EVER, and “inadvertently” ushering in an absolute blind sighted already biased (rightfully so) ass ripping by an all female jury. Solid Gold. Good for you. I, however, would have preferred a “knock knock” joke about lead lawyer Mike O’Mara. Here it goes:

Don West aka Heisenberg: Knock Knock

Don West aka Dumb Fuck: Who’s There

Don West aka Raisin Balls: Mike ‘O Mara

Don West aka I Have Foreskin On the Back of My Neck: Mike ‘O Mara who?

Don West aka I Also Represented Another Fat Asshole Named Lou Perlman Who Ponzi-Schemed Both the Backstreet Boys & N’Sync to the Moon: Mike ‘O MURDERED any credibility of Zimmerman’s team of attorney because he mischaracterized video footage of two homeless men shooting the 1′s over a bike for Trayvon Martin beating the snot out of a homeless guy. Now, may I proceed in acknowledging this case is over via an allusion to All Mighty Sosa? Thank You

P.S. How much weight have you gained, Georgy Porgy??? Depressed much??

 

Iowa State Diaper Dandy Georges Niang Stops by the Podcast to Talk with Chris Kattan

Meet Georges Niang. If an illiterate grassroots/college basketball fan, you might know him as the kid who was on the wrong end of that late game blown offensive foul call against Kansas last Monday. If familiar with the Methuen, Massachusetts native and current Iowa State Cyclone Freshman forward, however, you’d know my man, to no personal surprise, is defying all expectations. Through sixteen Big 12 conference games, he’s one of only four freshman to rank top 20 in scoring (two of which are projected lottery picks in this year’s NBA draft), has arguably been Coach Hoiberg’s most efficient roster option on one of the more deep team’s in the country, and continues to make Bleacher Report, ESPN and other “all-knowing” scouting services look a bit, well stupid, for not anticipating his work as a Tilton School Ram and member of the prestigious Boston Amateur Basketball Club alongside Nerlens Noel would immediately translate to the next level. Remember folks, athleticism isn’t everything. Believe it or not, success in this game, as Charles Barkley once said, “comes down to what you can do under the rim.”

And last Thursday, we got Georges on the line for an interview right before taking off for his make or break NCAA tournament hopeful three game stretch against Oklahoma, Oklahoma State and West Virginia. From discussing his feelings with the underrated label to his opinions on KU swingman Travis Releford’s hair line and white women with short hair, Georges showed us that’s he’s a youngin’ with a story and personality that should never go unnoticed. If there’s one take away from our first of many radio interviews with Georges, it’s that he’s got the tools to not only ball outrageous for the rest of his basketball career, but to ball outrageous 30 years down the road in life. Check out some of the highlights from our conservation transcribed below. Hit ‘Em.

P.S. Excuse my sounding like the biggest white boy of all time when discussing French Montana and his most recent Mac & Cheese Mixtape. I assure you all that I’m far more WAVY than I appear over the Podcast. Believe me, I’ve routinely punched myself in the face for that one.

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Don Dada of the Day: Zack Greinke and His Young Money Aspirations

So sue me if this post is a bit “late.” I’ve been in bum fuck Maine banging the fuck out of applications to The U of Miami/Texas. Have had to somewhat put this blogging life on the back burner. But can you name anyone in the industry who refers to Zack “Anxiety Disorder” Greinke as a Don Dada and praises his young money motivating factors to sign with the Dodgers as “pimp tight”? Thought so. Too much originality for that ass. Time to give this Bishop Don Magic Juan the TRUE respect he deserves.

ESPN LA—”I could play for the worst team if they paid the most,” Greinke said in an interview with CBSSports.com. “If the last-place team offers $200 million and the first-place team offers $10, I’m going to go for the $200 million no matter what team it was.”

Refreshing, isn’t it? Why must professional athletes always sugar coat their reasons for signing off-season LONG money contracts with the shallow and conventional, “Oh, uhh, the public schools are great so my wife and I thought it was best we settle in Seattle” or “This town eats, sleeps and shits baseball. The fans are what brought me here”? Like, who gives a fuck about the Janice or Jimmy who will hate you for saying I’d rather play for $150 mill, ten Bugattis and unlimited champagne room visits at a Jupiter, Florida five star steak house/strip club named Rachel’s over 6 years than to fulfill my fraudulent “Field of Dreams” bullshit. Does Janice wait at Sonic in the summer so she can feel part of a longstanding tradition of fast food and rock roller skates in the process? Does Jimmy do Male Porn as a rite of passage into the “normal” heterosexual adult film industry? Shit no, you work a job so you can make MONEY. The MULA is what motivates any professional in any given industry. Its all relative.

While its upsetting for us meek and “average” one’s to hear the cold hard truth, if I’m a Dodgers fan I love Zack because the guy knows exactly where he stands. He chose LA to kick it with Ben Franklin, not Don Mattingly. He’s here to interact with Wells Fargo, not Clayton Kershaw. Sure, winning is cool. But I’d much rather be a “loser” with pockets on Shrek. Because at the end of the day, there will always be another “Zack Greinke”; another guy just as capable and talented as I am who will make fans forget about me without hesitation if I shit bricks. Suck the inherently fucked up business of sports for all its worth, Don Dada Greinke.

Wise words, pimpin’. Thanks for reminding us that AIN’T NOTHIN MORE IMPORTANT THAN THE MULA! HAAANN (French Montana voice)!

Don Dada of the Day: Up & Coming Rapper Sin & His Super Producer Thomas Foolery

To familiarize those of you who have yet to hop on the HitEmWhereTheyAint train, our Don Dada of the Day subsection is specifically dedicated to commemorating the “pimp tight” aka praise worthy actions, thoughts, efforts, etc. of individuals throughout the globe. So, without further ado, we’d like to happily award today’s Bishop Don Magic Juan to up and coming Chicago based rapper, Sin, and his Beantown groomed producer, Thomas Foolery.

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A Hilarious Obsession with Discovery Channel’s “Dual Survival” Reported by Our Don Dada of the Day, Myles Stavis

Today’s Don Dada aka The Bishop Don Magic Juan of the Internet hails from our Nation’s Liberal Headquarters of Cambridge, Mass, is a recent graduate of Syracuse University, loves beefin’ with Jamaicans on the blacktop and will run you in a game of darts at Boston’s own shitty, but lovable dive bar, The Beacon Hill Pub. His name: Myles Stavis or as we like to call him, Styles Mavis. You mean, Myles Davis? Pshh, the fuck up with that bullshit. I’m talkin STYLES…MAVISSSS. The rap phenomenon, Don Dada (Don’t call him Francis M.H., the Ghost of B.I.G. will forever haunt you). But as much as I’d love to ramble on about the guy, what warrants his receiving such a title comes from the most recent article my dude posted over at Digg Boston characterizing his once unrevealed guilty pleasure: an extreme infatuation with Discovery Channel’s own “Dual Survival.” Its Golden. So, pal, why don’t ya dedicate five minutes of your time to read over my man’s work before I smash that face in with a soldering iron. Hit ‘Em

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