This Chick from Cambridge Murking the Comp on “Arabs Got Talent” is the Most Cambridge Thing You Could Ever Fathom

Screen Shot 2013-11-26 at 3.12.00 PM

I want nothing more than to have the slightest of connections to the first American finalist in the history of “Arabs Got Talent.” So I’m going out on a whim here and assuming there’s an 87% chance this chick was in my AP Calculus class at Rindge & Latin back in ’08. Meaning there’s an 87% chance I’m a bold face fucking liar. Jennifer Grout: Turning up in the Middle East, strumming the SHIT out of her Oud and taking god damn names. Chick apparently can’t even speak Arabic; only sings it, and has the accent of a vet in the game. Doesn’t get much more “Cambridge” (i.e. bizarre) than that. Least surprising thing ever.

P.S. Hey, Jenny, how about a collaboration? You know, the second coming of Yo Gotti (me) meets Umm Kulthum. Match made in recording heaven…I’M THAT NICE!

P.S.S. To the haters accusing Grout of faking her American biography…

 

Salute: Cambridge, MA’s Jacquil Taylor Commits to Purdue

If you haven’t peeped the bio, we’re Cambridge bred. We’re also Beaver Country Day Alums. Jacquil Taylor is both. And as of last night, Jacquil pledged the presumed next four years of his life to Head Coach Matt Painter of the Purdue Boilermakers. Despite the looming concerns of a broken foot, the 6’10 rim protector battled with a determination and resiliency characteristic of this city’s basketball culture. The likes of the University of Miami, Kansas State, VCU and George Mason soon came knocking, but in the end, all things set sail towards West Lafayette, Indiana. And now Jacquil becomes part of a pantheon of high major commits that most notably includes Patrick Ewing (yup), Michigan’s own Rumeal Robinson, Michael Carter-Williams (he’s from Cambridge!) and the LEGEND formally known as Wayne Turner (Wayne might have the most intriguing narrative of all Kentucky alum. Yes, better than Nazr Mohammad). Some crazy company to join.

A kid near flawless in the department of character, Taylor brings a defensive oriented skill set to go along with an intriguing ceiling for development on the offensive end. From a critics perspective, Jacquil’s skillset doesn’t exactly come full circle via this snid-bit highlight tape—most highlight tapes often times fail in doing a player’s game justice for better or worse. Nonetheless, Jacquil balls. Fluid, fully extended jump hooks to his strong (left) hand, an ever-evolving stroke with the potential to extend out to 20 plus feet, HANDS, a defensive mainstay who will forever and always challenge anything at the rim. Of course, the learning of curve of having to adjust to the size, strength and physicality of the next level will take its toll; just ask all our freshman here at the University of Miami—you dont’ know what this level is really like until you play alongside nine other high profile guys with two to three years of collegiate experience on the same floor. Eye opening to say the least. But that ain’t nothing but a thing of down the road concern. For now, the focus is on enjoying the moment and a full year’s worth of development. Salute to you, your brother Mo Mo (Question: Is ballin’ at North Carolina A&T not the best thing ever?) and the rest of the family. Crazy respect for the homie Jacquil. #HitEm

P.S. Mo Mo, I want an interview about this in about 4 months.

 

Final Words to the Those Within the City of Cambridge Who Preach #FreeJahar Nonsense

CNN–Boston Marathon bombing suspect Dzhokhar Tsarnaev has told investigators his older brother Tamerlan was the driving force behind last week’s attack and that no international terrorist groups were behind them, a U.S. government source said Monday. Preliminary interviews with Tsarnaev indicate the two brothers fit the classification of self-radicalized jihadists, the source said. Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, wounded and held in a Boston hospital, has said his brother — who was killed early Friday — wanted to defend Islam from attack, according to the source. The government source cautioned that the interviews were preliminary, and that Tsarnaev’s account needs to be checked out and followed up on by investigators.

Sigh of relief, for now. Obviously, the investigation isn’t close to being over. But the first response is everything I would have expected and more: A self-radicalized, sociopathic Islamic Fundamentalist who first turned on the United States after having been denied a spot on the US Olympic Boxing roster/full American citizenship and then convinced his brother to hop on the killing of innocent Bostonians train. I’m sure the other amateurs involved will be revealed in the near future.

Look, I’ve understood the emotional dichotomy surrounding those who actually knew Jahar; when you’ve hit the prom, wrestling practice, the showers, Angelo’s pizza, whack ass parties, etc. with a kid who never in his life appeared predisposed to sociopathic tendencies, the shock of his resorting to such destruction is baffling. But in times like these, my friends, social media becomes a platform of infuriating, untruthful personal opinion. Why? Because it gives every idiot in the world ability to publicly express unadulterated stupidity. And in this case, we saw how social media allowed ultra-liberalized, close-minded, far from objective, members of my own city to preach conspiracy theory nonsense geared towards proving Jahar’s innocence. Again, I get it, these two violent aggressors, from previous social interaction, do not necessarily fit the credentials of a terrorists in years past; Its not linear, its not perfectly clear. Nonetheless, for Cambridgeans to refuse to look beyond their own personal accounts and reflect upon the ACTUAL evidence because, in their mind, no one from a city of unheralded diversity could EVER commit mass destruction is embarrassing. In fact, let it be known that you, yes, those surprisingly close minded Cambridgeans who drool over their having gone to Rindge, not the “other side” (private school…ew), are making our city known for intellectual capacity look like a bunch of uneducated numbskulls.

Peace and Chuuuuuuch,

Chris Kattan

Another Candid Account of “Timmy” Tamerlan Tsarnaev From An Old, Thoughtful High School Friend

by: Chris Kattan

Here is the first personal account

In the midst of such egregious events, the world has been searching far and wide for any type of information allowing us to accurately depict the psychological makeup of Tamerlan “Timmy” Tsarnaev and Dzhokhar Tsarnaev: How do two dudes who once upon a time  navigated comfortably and unobtrusively through a city noted for unheralded acceptance of ethnic/cultural diversity go on to wreak such devastating havoc? From Kendall Square, to Central Square, to the Watertown Mall, reporters have been on a goose chase to answer that exact question. But in locating residents personally familiar with either of the suspects, particularly Tam, the regional press has documented interviews with individuals like this lacking any capacity to project a well-formulated picture of the perpetrators to the rest of the world.

Where does that lead me, a fledgling blogger just trying to help the city I love? Well. I just recently spoke on the phone with a dear friend of the deceased older brother, Tamerlan. My dude’s name is Sam, a 22 year old Cambridge native and a Rindge & Latin graduate who requested that I not reveal his last name. Both Timmy and Sam met around 2004 and have sustained a close relationship over the years. Sam, much like myself, has expressed his disdain for the way in which numerous reporters have gone about prying each and every bit of knowledge from those who knew Tam: “Dudes are stupid man. Aren’t talking to the right people. Black dude’s in bathrobes? He’s a Cambridge kid.” When I first asked about what the nature of their relationship was in high school, Sam was quick to relive memories of Tamerlan’s soft side and cheerfulness:

“This dude was such a clown, yo. How was this possible…He was a chatter mouth. We used to burn it down on a daily basis. If he wasn’t with us, he was working out. He worked and worked out…Nuts, man. This was my dude. One of the better dudes I’ve known. On the Suface level, at least”

In 2007, a member of Rindge’s Varsity Basketball Team, who also requested that I not reveal his name, used to sponsor 6 AM pick up on weekdays in the Fall to get ready for the season. Tamerlan had heard about the open run and asked if he could join. And although severely uncoordinated from a basketball standpoint, Timmy was noted for his raw strength and athleticism: “He was mad strong and athletic. Always remembered him warming up with boxing drills, throwing punches in the corner. Never spoke. Wasn’t a good ball player, but strong dude.” Outside of a physical altercation Downtown in which he ruffed up a Boston rapper and apparently broke his collar bone, Sam described Tam as a a man opposed to violence, ”(My boy) was getting jumped, he came to his side to protect him, and handled these two dudes. But that was the only fight I’d ever seen him get into. Overall, he was a gentle dude…Growing up, Tam had always hated guns and shit. Never had guns, always hated guns. His father always told him to be a man of fists…Tam got brain washed in Chechnya. Either that or he went there looking to get himself into it, dude.”

*Sam noted that Tamerlan was out of the country, in Chechnya, for around four to five months, but wasn’t sure of the exact dates because he been dealing with a number of personal issues himself. The exact timeline that has been revealed to be January 2012 to July 2012.*

Sam continued to elaborate on his experience of Tamerlan’s gentleness in a recount of a recent 2013 mid-March encounter in Cambridge. According to Sam—who had just returned home after long period spent out of Cambridge—Tamerlan showed up at his door step out of the blue with his two year old baby daughter to catch up as Sam was getting ready to head to an appointment. Sam recorded no unusual conversation, but noted that Tamerlan had said he’d “dipped off” from everyone as of late and that his life at this point was just working, making sure his daughter could enjoy the life he had imagined. In large part, Sam noted the experience to be full of laughter and playfulness, “He was playing with his little girl, running around and shit.” Tamerlan then drove Sam to his appointment and that was that.

When I asked Sam about Tamerlan’s religious beliefs, Sam went on to say that around four or five years ago is when Tam became extremely devout: “He stopped drinking, stopped smoking, worked out like a maniac. Preached religion a lot. Always peace and prosperity. He was always a little abnormal about the religion. But that was his own little personal quirk. Everyone’s obsessed with something though. I’m obsessed with Nike Air Max’s…Never thought he’d do anything like this.”

Clearly, this is a candid recounting of a long term experience of perhaps one facet of a very troubled, cryptic and manipulative individual. It seems somewhat unrealistic at this point to consider that this view of him as a gentle, peaceful, loving dude is the defining aspect of his character. Regardless of whether the diagnosis is Character change, sociopathy, deranged, militant Islamic fanaticism or all three, Tamerlan managed to conceal his evil side.

 

“Millyz” is the Rapper That Tamerlan “Timmy” Tsarnaev Beefed With Back in the Day

 

I had mentioned in my first report that Tamerlan, the older brother of Dzhokhar, had reportedly gotten into the altercation with a rapper a couple years back in downtown Boston. Well, here’s more evidence of that altercation. While I personally was not there, I’ve contacted several friends whom again I won’t be revealing and they’ve noted that Tamerlan may have connected with some major shots to the grill. But who cares about the intricacies of the fight. All I know is the Cambridge born Rapper is doing his thing and making hits with Joe Budden while Tamerlan is a deceased loser who no one will ever care about (or should care about to be exact). 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9q-bR2KtAgA

I’ll Tell Ya What: New Music From Ex-Pats Linebacker Tully Banta Cain is “Out of Control”

If lame and outrageously out the game, former New England Patriot, San Francisco 49er and stud pass rusher, Tully Banta Cain, has been doing his music thing for quite some time now. Rocking with the likes of Cambridge’s White Boy Gorgeous aka Millyz, V-Knuckles/N.B.S. and a number of other MCs from the Greater Boston Area, the artist formally known as Nova-Cain has had some impressive jump offs in years past, but nothing like this BANGER for the club. “Out of Control,” which is the latest leak off his up coming DJ Drama hosted mixtape, The Truth Hurts, features aforementioned White Boy Gorgeous (I SEE YOU MILLYZ, CAMBRIDGE STAND UP!), Charlestown native Slain (whom you might know as Gloansy from The Town) and Joey Budden….HIDE YOOO KIDSSSS. Expecting more from Tully in the near future, and you should be too!

 

A Hilarious Obsession with Discovery Channel’s “Dual Survival” Reported by Our Don Dada of the Day, Myles Stavis

Today’s Don Dada aka The Bishop Don Magic Juan of the Internet hails from our Nation’s Liberal Headquarters of Cambridge, Mass, is a recent graduate of Syracuse University, loves beefin’ with Jamaicans on the blacktop and will run you in a game of darts at Boston’s own shitty, but lovable dive bar, The Beacon Hill Pub. His name: Myles Stavis or as we like to call him, Styles Mavis. You mean, Myles Davis? Pshh, the fuck up with that bullshit. I’m talkin STYLES…MAVISSSS. The rap phenomenon, Don Dada (Don’t call him Francis M.H., the Ghost of B.I.G. will forever haunt you). But as much as I’d love to ramble on about the guy, what warrants his receiving such a title comes from the most recent article my dude posted over at Digg Boston characterizing his once unrevealed guilty pleasure: an extreme infatuation with Discovery Channel’s own “Dual Survival.” Its Golden. So, pal, why don’t ya dedicate five minutes of your time to read over my man’s work before I smash that face in with a soldering iron. Hit ‘Em

330156187_640

Continue reading

Syracuse Star Guard Gets Caught Shop Lifting

CBS Sports-The sophomore point guard was seen placing a bathrobe and a pair of gloves into his backpack at a local Lord & Taylor department store in the Destiny USA mall on Dec. 9, two sources told the Syracuse Post-Standard. Carter-Williams signed a store form acknowledging the theft and paid a $500 fine, the Post-Standard reported. Lord & Taylor declined to press charges

The common theme amongst media outlets who shit on elite level college athletes is that they have no actual personal relationship with the kids. That’s where we come in because mufuckas actually KNOW Mike; I grew up playing ball with the dude every saturday at our local high school (Cambridge Rindge & Latin) from 4th up until 6th grade. Now, I have absolutely no relationship with Mike. But when him, Rakeem Christmas and I were passing around a bottle of Peach Ciroc (damn, that shits delicious) at Syracuse’s May Fest last spring he completely ignored me when clearly knowing who I was after re-introducing myself (people don’t forget!). Quite disrespectful. That aint a reason to hate a man though, right? Don’t get it twisted, I’ve still got mad love for Mike and the things he’s done for the city of Cambridge.

Honestly, I don’t really care what Mike did. I just think its hilarious the dude got caught. Believe me, there have been multiple times where I’ve run up in CVS and robbed 40-50 dollars worth of acne products (mufuckas gotta look good!). But I’m not THE stud and face of Syracuse’s basketball team. I’m not someone who everyone has their eye on when they walk into a local convenient store. C’mon, man. I know Jim Boeheim reimburses you guys for your efforts all the damn time. Just wait it out, don’t do any dumb shit and keep your image intact. The worst thing you can do is give people an excuse to hate you. And while this might seem like such a minuscule event that holds absolutely no relevance (much like the time you disrespected me when you completely ignored my presence when we were passing the Peach Ciroc around), people DO NOT forget.

“As soon as I step on the floor, it’s all about basketball. It’s about my team. That’s it. I have nothing to say about that situation. Everything is about basketball. That’s all I’m going to talk about.”–Mike Carter Williams

 

Chicago Youth Goes Off on Music Teacher: Man You Betta Teach Sumin!

by: Dollar Mike Just Fucked Your Main Bitch

Before I delve into what I think about this verbal onslaught, I’d like to say one thing: Every dude in this video looks EXACTLY like Chief Keef…Bang Bang, Love Sosa!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=nSlFn82fW6U

I cannot begin to tell you how much this shit reminds me of my one year public school experience. Type of thing happened legit every two weeks. I can remember one specific example where my teacher kindly asked some Haitian chick to stop eating olives, yes OLIVES, out of a jar with a tooth pick because the room was beginning to fill with an overwhelming, intolerable odor (true story). And instead of doing what he asked and graciously putting away her god damn olives, she proceeded to ruthlessly cuss out the teacher. Most unnecessary/wild experience I’ve ever been apart of. Hilarious.

This chick, much like the Haitian olive gobbler, is a complete ass clown. Please, do us all a favor and quell your ratchet ass tendencies. At least have the decency to bring Mr. Hubston (Hudson, whatever, couldn’t understand how she pronounced his name) aside after class and then ruthlessly cuss his ass out. You think I called my freshman year Geometry teacher a cigarette smoking, raging bulldyke in front of the entire class (yes, another true story)? Fuck no, I was smarter than that and waited until class was over to let her ass know how bad of a teacher she was. And you know what? It worked like a fucking charm. Chick was nearly sucking my Johnson for the rest of the semester. Most bad ass shit I’ve ever done.

Bottom Line: Regardless of my not knowing the entire context of this story, I think its safe to assume that this video should in no way be glorified as some righteous act of standing up for your education. Its just some ratchet ass chick going HAM on her professor in class room full of Chief Keefs…Hit ‘Em!