Donkey of the Day: Marco Rubio and His Siting Wiz Khalifa as “Modern Day Poet”

“You look at the time, I think it’s a time when many of our colleagues expected to be home, back in the home state playing hard, but I’m happy we’re here still working hard on this issue”–Marco Rubio

Am I a proponent of all filibusters requiring at least one hip/hop reference? Of course. In watching Obama successfully let his Soul Glo in Office, there should be an initiative to splash a dash of Darryl Jenks across the overwhelmingly honkey-tonk Senate. But when a Tea Party backed Hispanic Senator, a political amalgamation that makes me queezy to begin with, cites Wiz Khalifa as a “modern-day poet” and then proceeds to quote “Work Hard, Play Hard” in an entirely non-inspirational manner, THAT guy is gonna have “Donkey” tossed his way.

Hey, Marco, are you peeing on the Senate’s leg and telling them its raining? Don’t you dare spread unruly lies to a collection of individuals illiterate in African American art. Wiz Khalifa is no modern day poet. The puppy shit soft MC has yet to provide a single poetic contribution to the field. His lyrical references range from rolling joints as a fat as King Kong’s fingers, not sleeping, and refusing to use backwoods/dutch raps when burning one down. Poetry? No “gay” floetry. And while it would be one thing if his weed smoking wordplay was creative, its not…at all. Even Project Pat could rip that dude in a battle. In fact, fuck that, he’d most certainly eat him. “Trees” Khalif has to whip out his lyrics electronically via the Iphone because he can’t naturally kick it off the dome piece. “Death of Canibus” sequel, anyone? I think so (by the way, skip to 1:50 in the video below. It’s without a doubt the funniest shit you’ll ever see).

As far as the “A Week Ago”/Jay-Z reference goes? Not finishing the entire bar is weaksauce: “Funny what, seven days can change. A stand up nigga, now you sit down to aim Used to have a firm grip now you droppin’ names.” Would have made for a far more profound filibuster performance. Combine that with his affinity for EDM and Pitbull (naturally) and we’ve got ourselves a full blown Donkey!

You Donkey Mafucka, You!