by: Chris Kattan
No little boys allowed. NOT UP IN HERE! Hit ‘Em
1.) Can We Acknowledge That Rajon Rondo Has 10 Career Playoff Triple Doubles?
For all you discontented Bostonians who have no idea what they are talking about: Shut it….Oh, and Magic Johnson has 30…Good God.
2.) In A Game of Unsung Heroes, Birdman Reigned Supreme
First, shout out to Crazy Eyes Hansbrough. If Frank Vogel knows what’s good, he’ll finagle at least 18 to 20 minutes a contest for Tyler from here on out. Much like West and Hibbert, he’s one of Vogel’s rotational guys who pose one of many clear advantages for Indiana as Miami may very well have difficulty matching his energy and muscle (that’s right Udonis, suck it). X-Factor indeed. Not to mention the guy is chomping at the bit to shake Dwayne up with an unnecessary follow through
The Nuggets pull the amnesty card without proper background check (its called blackmail from a psychotic bitch, bro’s), the child pornography allegations fizzle, Pat Riley signs Andersen to what I would say is the best under the radar midseason acquisition in NBA history (PJ Brown’s looms in such discussion), Miami goes 39 and 4 (47 and 4 if you include the post season prior to last night), and Birdman proves as arguably the second most valuable player in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals…Wow…While you knew Andersen had the potential to do what Joel Anthony never could and turn Miami’s second units into legitimate starting line ups, you, nonetheless, maintained the thought of his being nothing more than a security blanket. Well, those assumptions proved entirely inaccurate as Birdman has essentially become what Brian Williams aka Bison “I Disappeared in the South Pacific” Dele meant to the 1996-1997 Bulls. Their box scores and skill set may fail in comparison, but the impact remains the same. Just two big fellers who’s capacity to add a dimension of high motor and efficiency allows their teams to seamlessly transition into an echelon of unprecedented greatness. Many might scoff at his 16 points on a perfect 7 for 7 from the field (FYI: the last to go at least 6 for 6 from the floor in a Heat playoff game was Alonzo “Can I Hit It in the” Mourning) and say to themselves, “Pshh…good luck finding that type of production again.” Yet, the career post season high was far from a product of playing out of one’s mind. Rather, it was a product of executing the achilles heel of the Pacers: brilliantly ferocious, well timed weakside rebounding/defensive help and an ability to finish with above the rim power off of dump downs. Add such characteristic to his having a far better second jump than Udonis Haslem and Andersen will continue to be a thorn in Indiana’s trademark collapsing defense know to give penetration fits. In other words, last night was no fluke.
3.) So, Uh, Paul George Dispelled Any Questions Regarding His Superstar Status Last Night…
I’m in love (#Pause). Have you ever seen a kid with as much composure or indefatigability not named Lebron James or drafted outside of the top 5 at the age of 23? Last night was an embodiment of resiliency only displayed by the game’s all-time greats. From seamlessly forgetting a no where to be found first half, to serving as the catalyst behind thwarting Miami’s 12 to 2 “here we go again” run to open the second half, to time and time again winning the battle of isolations with Lebron on the defensive end, to knocking down COLDDDD BLOODED free throws, mid range pull ups and of course 30 foot buzzer beaters…What else is there to say other than Paul George is a bonafide 23 year old top five NBA talent in the making.
4.) Coaches Corner: As We All Know, Roy Hibbert Should Have Been in the Game…Twice.
Clearly, Paul George should have played Lebron for the J as opposed to the drive but who cares. Frank’s taking the blame.
No need for me to delve much into this debacle full of late game fuckery. Rule #1 in preparing for late game situations with Goliath on PED’s: You do E V E R Y T H I N G in your power to make sure The King feels inclined to relinquish any thought of his finishing the game himself. Thus, force deference of responsibility to someone else not named Lebron James. The sequence itself was far too brief for Lebron to all in one attack the basket, deal with Hibbert mid air and try to hit Chris Bosh for a not rushed short corner jumper. Mono-e-mono at the rim at that point, Coach. Not to mention that at this point in his career, Lebron is going for gold on his lonesome. I’m sure James has no incentive to re-hash any scarring memories from 2011…
Talk about over-thinking…You’ve got a great defensive weapon and you invite LeBron to go to the rim twice by taking him out of the game.
— Michael Wilbon (@RealMikeWilbon) May 23, 2013
Yea, how about we not forget that Vogel did the unthinkable 9.2 seconds prior before once again indulging in the unthinkable. Is Coach really that spooked by Chris Bosh shooting 43% from deep? Hey, if Miami looks to play five out, I help like a Brazilian house-maid off of Bosh and bait Lebron to kick. Be my guest, Chris, continue shooting 43% from deep on 16 post season attempts. That small sample size looks gooooood to me!
P.S. Why is that we always have to tune into one woman obnoxiously screaming after a big play? Can the production crew please do something about that? Christ…
5.) This Series Ultimately Comes Down to Lebron Averaging 30, 10 and 10.
Or let’s just say he has to be the Lebron James of last year’s Eastern Conference Semi-Final where he put the team on his back (doe) and averaged 30 points, 10.8 rebounds and 6.7 assists over 6 games. Had Indiana not foregone a number of self-debilitating, easily avoidable turnovers, Miami would have been more or less entirely relegated to the half court. Yes, when Frank Vogel’s bunch doesn’t shoot themselves in the foot with turnovers and George Hill can compose himself enough in the backcourt to not make Norris Cole look like an all first team NBA defender, the Pacers are remarkably capable of slowing Miami’s prowess in transition. Thus, this series comes down to the clear cut advantages within 48.5 feet.. And, folks, the only clear cut advantage I see in this series is Lebron James over all. Roy Hibbert and David West take the battle of Chris Bosh. Although appearing spry and healthy, Dwayne Wade has yet to show any indication that he’s ready to pull out the vintage Dwayne Wade. And Indiana is so unbelievably talented at disrupting Miami’s half court fluidity and multiple ball reversals that the trademark corner three is as far from as prevalent as its been otherwise….Like I said, Lebron must pull a Magic Johnson of 1980 and dump on everyone from all five positions, but for 4 games instead of one. I’m assuming we’ll be seeing some unprecedented greatness from James in this series. NBD.